COVID-19 DIARY - POST #1: PORTRAIT OF A WANNA-BE ARTIST DURING COVID-19: #MyQuasiSelfIsolationCreativeDiary (Day 1-32)

Tuesday, March 17, 10:27 pm

Ah, nuts! Hang on. I was going to start this post, something I was thinking of earlier today, but i really should do a couple other things first before I wind up not doing them at all (What? NO.)(um... yes).
I'll be back.

Thursday, March 19, 9:57 pm

...Okay, it's two freaking days later, but here I am! Ta-daah!

Friday, March 20, 9:06 am

Okay, maybe three days later. Don't even ask. I think I'm just disorganized, distracted, and a bit tired. Mostly distracted and tired. BOY, am I glad I have two days off! For the last two days I've been obsessively preoccupied with a potential comic project ("potential" because, well, who knows if I'll ever follow through (am I right???) i.e. see my Stellara Ultranova obsession and where has that gotten me so far with concrete examples of drawing: NOWHERE, BUB.
Anyway, today's the first of two days off, so we'll see...

Backtracking quickly... episode (er, that is, daily life) recap:

The U.S and the world is currently dealing with this virus, first described as the Coronavirus, now more officially called Covid-19. Originating from China, it was first announced in December, 2019. Here's a timeline.
Wow, I just read this, to be honest. Most of my information regarding Covid-19 has been haphazard (because I don't regularly listen to the news - yes, I'm a willfully ignorant jerk), or anecdotal in the sense it's what my wife tells me who does follow the news more diligently, or what I hear or see at work (I'm still working 25-40 hours a week as Helping Hands Assistant (i.e. I pull grocery carts from the lot, etc.)) and how the current "social distancing" climate affects my grocery store, or what I sporadically get from Facebook and other internet sources (so, mostly memes and FB statuses).
My wife has been home from school working since Tuesday, March 17. She went in Monday (faculty and administration only, but the day before it was announced that schools would be closed) to learn what the policy and procedure was going to be re: teaching on-line from school.
When I drive to work, there's an electronic sign over the O-190 South just before the I-290 ramp and usually it informs drivers during the commute how many minutes until the I-990 or Downtown. AS of Wednesday, it's been saying "STOP THE SPREAD... SAVE LIVES... STAY HOME" Another version on the I-290 West (heading home) added, "#FlattenTheCurve".

Anyway, so many people are staying home from work and there's a general sense of a quarantine going on, or more officially, "self-isolation."  Because I'm still actively working, I don't completely embrace that feeling, except intellectually I do feel that an "opportunity" to focus on artwork, etc. is upon me. Hence... the subject of this post.

I'm arbitrarily choosing MARCH 16 as DAY ONE of this self-isolation because that was the first day it affected me: we cancelled Monday night's BM-VM meeting at the Screening room. Actually, over the weekend the Screening Room cancelled it's events until mid-April (for now, it may go longer). Because I'm still working, I needed to pick a date that sort of applied to me in terms of the virus "directly" affecting me, so to speak, if that makes sense.

Which brings me up-to-date enough to get into my...
QUASI-SELF ISOLATION CREATIVE DIARY.

My hope is to document my progress and also what's going on in the world around me re: this virus. So, there will definitely be a lot of bla bla bla, but I'm also hoping that there will also be images of artwork I've been doing. I guess we'll see, huh?
Anyway, I've recently discovered this local self-described "novice cosplayer" who did a cosplay of a character from a brand new comic, Canopus, and then made contact at Pulp 716 (N. Tonawanda division) with the comic's creator, Dave Chisolm, who stopped by at the store last month (I think) and was delighted at her enthusiastic support and made her a sketch based on one of her Canopus cosplay photos. I think that whole experience inspired me and then I started thinking of drawing/comic ideas with this cosplayer, mostly because of her Twitter account. As a sort of "tagline" for her account, she describes herself as a "shark fighter" (just to be silly, I'm assuming), but then that made me think of doing a drawing of her a shark fighter. And then, I started getting carried away (who, me? No!), and my impulsive drawing idea for a "fan-art" pin-up picture, soon morphed into a two-, no, actually, three-, aw, what the hell, a probably FOUR-page comic story that CONCLUDES on the so-called pin-up image as the last page of the story idea.
But, again, we'll see what this actually translates into in terms of physical artwork, dammit!
Because, part of me is also thinking I should finish something I've already started first, just to get this under my belt and out of the way. There's no real deadline here for the cosplayer project other than my own typical obsessive impulsiveness.
So, I'm going to do that.
Thus, we have this:

I did this drawing (as part of a Drink and Draw night... alas!) way back in January 2016.

Sorry for the REALLY crappy quality of the picture. I bring this drawing up because Pam (from the Apple Corps Comic Book Club) recently talked about something called "Work-in-Progress Wednesdays" and I thought the concept was good, i.e. using the day as a gauge to see how we're progressing on certain projects. I chose five very old drawings I've started but never finished. This Drink and Draw effort was one of them. So, this is my "something that I'm going to finish that I've already started" first project. And then, I think that will "give me permission" to start working more in earnest on the cosplayer project.

Meanwhile, to celebrate this first day off, I have some housecleaning/chores to address first (and breakfast!).

Stay tuned.

Tuesday, March 24, 9:41 pm

SELF-"ISOLATION": DAY EIGHT.

Friday, April 17, 9:59 pm

I guess I didn't have anything to say over three weeks ago...

SELF-"ISOLATION": DAY THIRTY-TWO.

And, boy, objectives have changed since then.

First, I haven't finished the above drawing, nor did I actually start working on it, other than thinking about it and giving this impulsively drawn character a name, Flauna Chamois (pronounce sham-WAH), and thinking it is a "concept character" now, for lack of a better name or label. Meaning, I was considering this might be the first in a series of "pin-up" style drawings of this character, and they all have a sort of advertising/fashion theme, the meanings of that to be further explored. This idea came about because I was thinking I'd give Flauna a coat to wear in THIS drawing, and I was going to make up some odd design. But, we'll see...

...because now I'm fixated on something else. Of course.

Two things, actually.

1: The COSPLAYER/SHARK-FIGHTER comic.

and

2. A totally OTHER project: THE CALIEGIA (REMAKE). I've actually started working on this project. I recently purchased the Dynamite comics "replica edition" of VAMPIRELLA #3, originally published by Warren Publishing back in the 60s. These replica editions are really cool! They reprint everything, not only the story content but also the original ads! So, these editions are a real nostalgic blast. Plus, it's an affordable way to check out these old stories. As much as I like the replica edition, the actual stories in this issue aren't that hot. You get a real sense of some of the cultural dynamics were at the time. They play up the female characters in these stories, the one big difference between CREEPY and EERIE magazines from VAMPIRELLA is the inclusion of a sexy female element in the stories, so not only the Vampirella character as a host who also stars in her own continuing storyline in the mag. But also, you see how these horror genre stories are at that time. Sometimes it seems all you need is to include some genre element to make the story serviceable. And sometimes the female element is blatantly exploited in the story. I'm not saying it as a criticism, but as an observation. Anyway, bla bla bla... so I bought this replica edition, and one of the stories sort of caught my eye, "The Caliegia," written by Nicola Cuti and drawn by Dick Piscopo, an artist I wasn't familiar with before. For some reason, I found the story and art to be lacking, and as is my tendency at times, I impulsively decided to re-do the story... okay, impulsively acting is a perpetual tendency of mine. The original impulse was to focus on the art, but then, as i re-read the story and started thinking about my re-make version, I started thinking about ways I'd do the story differently. So, I've started really investing the overhaul of this story. Here are some very preliminary behind-the-scenes peeks at my "progress": 

These are examples of my flailing about trying to draw and interpret a character, Vampirella, for the intro of the story, but also trying to figure out how to break down the first page of the story. The first image in my first attempt at drawing Vampi, but then I didn't like the pose. I also wasn't sure how my drawing would eventually fit in the space on the page, so I started drawing her on a different sheet of paper, figuring I could transfer it when I had a better idea of how much space it was going to take up.

Anyway, I'm a bit happier with how her body turned out, but I've been mostly preoccupied with the writing the last couple days, trying to figure out my takes on the main characters.

Meanwhile, here's a link to scans of the original story.

Alright, I'm going to end this and move on.

Here's my current game plan (and we'll see how long THIS strategy lasts..!): 

1. The original "Caliegia" story was 7 pages long. I originally decided I was going to keep my remake version to 7 pages as well. But then I started working on the story and writing it, and I knew within a day of making the 7-page limit that I was not going to keep to that restriction. But, I'm also aware of my compulsion to start projects and never finish them. So, I've revised my restriction to a deadline. I'll take as long as I want with the story page-wise (whatever that means), but I'm going to try and finish the first 7 pages by the end of April.

2. I'm also going to attempt to finish that SHARK-FIGHTER story before the end of April, too.

That seems like an over-stretch, though. Maybe I should at least aim for plotting and laying out the story. That also seems like a challenge (for me), but far more do-able than finishing the whole damn story.

DRAWING BOARD DIARY #1: "JOYRIDE"

December 22, 2018

It seems I've started another project.
A one-page comic book story.

The last time I did a complete one-page story was almost 40 years ago. And I wrote and illustrated it, pencils and inks, in one day. Approximately within 11 hours.

So, I’m CAPABLE of doing this.

The main purpose for me writing this post was to try and come up with a one-page comic story plot-line and then try and finish it before 2019 and to detail my thinking process and progress. So, this is my little diary of how I'm trying to go from Point A (My Idea) to Point Z (My Completed Comic Page). That is my goal and that is my deadline.

This time, I actually have a little more space to work with. The space I worked with before was closer to a square, dimensionally, and now I’m using 50% more space than a square, my dimensions being 10”x15”. Also, in that first cartoon, I opted to add a “cover,” since it was a comic genre parody, and that also ate into my story space. This time, I’m devoting the entire space to the story. So, that should allow me a little more breathing room. I’ll take that as an asset.

Anyway, I’m going to try and figure out a beginning, middle and end to a story right now.
Okay, here was the original idea (SPOILER ALERT! Actually, this will be my last "Spoiler Alert" because I'll be giving away plot points left and right throughout this post. So, hopefully I WILL finish this project and if I do, I'll post it and then add a link back to this post in case you want to read all the behind-the-scenes crap. So there.): A young, attractive, and spoiled couple borrow/steal a Chronocycle - a motorcycle time machine - and go joyriding through time. As they do so, they show their disregard for the past and anybody else. Finally, they visit pre-history, and while there, the young man is killed and the woman, who doesn't know how to operate the cycle, is left alone thousands and thousands of years in the past. The End.
Since then, I've been thinking about that ridiculous story line and I was thinking of making the woman a sort of pre-feminist, so perhaps setting the couple's original era is the 60 or 70s. And, also typically, I've been thinking of continuing the story, i.e. complicating my original creative intentions - a simple one-page story, natch! - which is how I typically, compulsively, perpetually start a billion ideas and projects of varying degrees of interesting potential yet NEVER FINISH ANYTHING.
So, in an attempt to stay on track, I'm allowing myself this out: this is the first episode. There! Easy-peasy! If I WANT to continue her story, it will have to be in a follow-up episode or episodes.

I've come up with the couple's names, Sergio and Francesca.
And then I impulsively and nonsensically decided to make them Italian and set it in Italy so that I can have them speak Italian! I think the idea of them being glamorous and fashionable just seemed Italian to me, hence.
But, then I felt I couldn't reconcile Francesca as this character I was thinking of, so now I'm contemplating a whole other additional idea. Adding a third wheel, Beatrice, Francesca's childhood friend who now lives in the States and is visiting. Bea is not very confident and a more overt victim of gender politics and the general culture. But, for contrived reasons, all three wind up going back in time, and to Bea's horror, S and F get killed, and Beatrice winds up abandoned in a strange land and in a time nowhere near her own.
That seems more interesting to me (and maybe cruel, too, considering Bea's fate), but I can't cram that all in to one page. Or maybe even two, which is what my cheat was going to be.
So, I'm thinking...
I don't know what I'm thinking.

Okay, I do know this. I want Sergio to be killed by a prehistoric, carnivorous kangaroo.
There. I said it.

Other inspirations/points of reference: Chester Brown's YUMMY FUR comic. The first issues contained short segments that seemed totally non-connected, but eventually they started to make connections and developed into the long-running story, ED THE HAPPY CLOWN. Part of me is considering doing the same thing with this story and maybe, eventually intersecting with yet another, and arguably more involved, time traveling concept of mine, TIME COFFIN: THE ETERNAL JOURNEY OF DR. ANACHRONIA SANDS.
Part of the YUMMY FUR attribution is the nonsensicality of the vicious Jurassic kangaroo, so to speak.

Anyway, no matter how nonsensical my ideas, for some reason I feel they won't seem as terrible when finally presented on the finished page. It'll just be, you know? It is what it is. That's the theory. Sort of like the Indian Superman and Spiderwoman movie from 1988. you look at it and wonder, understandably, "What the actual F?" yet, it is what it is and there is joy in accepting its weirdness for what it is.

Oh, also, I had this idea to have "Joyride" in Italian. When S and F talk, it's in Italian. Not translated, just leave it as is. Of course, I don't speak Italian at all, so the dialogue will all be badly google-translated Italian. Plus, I came across this link for Italian slang, for additional authenticity.

December 23, 2:05 pm

OMG, I’m SUCH a loser!

Ah, I’m just kvetching about how hard a time I’m having trying to come up with a simple plot for this one-page story. Perhaps I can ask Laszlo for help.

I don’t know. I feel like I’m stuck on a perpetual loop of failure every time I want to do a comic book page, etc.

I’m trapped and I have to bust out. That’s the only solution. Even a really SHITTY comic book page would be a success. Start SOMEwhere. Then IMPROVE.

FUCK ME.

Alright, I have to go to work.

December 25, 11:42 pm

Hey, Merry Christmas.

Well, I seem to have survived getting to and through the holiday. But, boy did I spend money in the last couple weeks! I have to spend the next month saving money and also replenishing the funds I borrowed from our savings for the holiday.

Meanwhile, I really cleaned up loot-wise today. But, that’s not really news. Historically, I do well gift-wise on this holiday.

But, getting back to the subject at hand… re: this fucking comic page I’m trying to do.

December 28, 4:46 pm

Meanwhile, of the few fragmented 2018 resolutions I could possibly (maybe) complete, we still have housecleaning to do in preparation for visitors tomorrow after I get home from work. Oy.

I was hoping to have watched 100 films this year; I would have to watch 11 in the next 3 point something days. I wanted to have posted 50,000 words total on my various blogs; I’ve only reached half that amount. Argh. Oh, and also do a new one-page comic thing.

So, we’ll see if how many more films I can cram in (not eleven, that’s for sure). Let’s see if I can get to 30,000 words, maybe 35,000. And I’m still hopeful about the comic page.

Now, let’s do some vacuuming!

10:17 pm

Well, I did some vacuuming in our TV room and on the main floor of the house. Did some cleaning, some laundry, but was also kind of distracted.

December 29, 2:51 am

OMG, what am I still doing up??? I have to be at work at 7:30 this morning! Can’t believe I’ve been wasting time on the internet the last couple hours.

Plus, I should’ve washed some of my work clothes and I never did that. I’m such an idiot! I could’ve at least done THAT and then, even if I wasted time metaphorically jerking off on the computer, I’d at least have the wash done. Ugh! Stupid stupid stupid.

Okay, I just put a load of clothes in and in about an hour that cycle should be done and I can put it in the dryer. THEN I can go to bed and get up in a couple hours (around 6:00 am).

Alright, stay focused.

There are a couple things I can still do cleaning-wise while I’m waiting for the wash to be done.

Like…. Clean my bathroom and the downstairs litter boxes.

Okay. I’ll be back.

Oh, but first: another idea, “Segue”. I have an idea to do a page of just transitions, for lack of a better word.

I’m trying to think of an ending.

Basically, I start with one character and setting and then transition to another character and setting, yet the two juxtaposed scenarios are related.

The trick is coming up with transitions that don’t seem completely arbitrary.

For instance, I’m thinking of starting with a guy at his drawing board and he’s looking at a big fat blank sheet of paper (hmmm, wonder where I came up with intriguing scenario..?).

Then, we see the shadow of his nearby window cast across his drawing table.

It’s night-time but there’s a full moon brightly shining. The cartoonist turns to look out the window and his shadow is cast across the table. We see the shadow change from man to beast.

Then we see his feet walking.

December 31, 12:04 pm

Ah, screw it!

I’m apparently totally incapable of writing a one-page comic story!

I always keep adding ideas and complicating the basic concept. I don’t develop ideas, I make them more freaking convoluted!

Even when I compromise (i.e. change my own rules), like, “alright, maybe two pages, tops!” even then I can’t stick to my own guidelines.

So, I went from coming up with a non-linear story idea (more or less) and trying to keep it to just visual transitions, and now I have this much longer idea that also introduces my cats as characters. Then I tried to return to the one-page concept again by saying, okay, let’s make each page be a chapter. Or each two pages be a chapter. But the “story” is starting to get away from me, or should I say plot and introduction of characters.

In fact, now I’m thinking this might be my Apple Corps Comic story. Originally - well, actually, no, that’s not totally correct – when I last thought about my ACC story (that’s more accurate), I went from a sci-fi parody called “Close Encounters of the Furred Kind” which introduced my cats as characters as well, to a spaghetti western parody called “Once Upon a Time in the Backyard.” Aside from loose ideas for either idea, I hadn’t progressed too far with it. This supposed one-page story I was working on now, "Segue," which wasn’t going to be TABLE SCRAPS-related (TABLE SCRAPS being the title for my anticipated comic of stories featuring my cats), is now turning out to be yet another TS concept, but ridiculously I’ve gotten much further with it. So, I’m not killing two birds with one stone, I’m just slowly getting around to, uh, choosing a bird to kill in the first place, apparently. And, since the number of pages I need for my ACC story is (at least) 12 pages, I think this might be that story. For now, I’m still calling it “Segue.”

Cripes.

Alright, I have to fill the bird feeders and finish beta-ing a FROZEN fan fiction story by my friend Laszlo. I’ll be back. Oh yeah, I have a day off to end the year and a day off to start the year. Yay!

Oh, a weird idea. An obvious reference/homage to Acme products used by Wile E. Coyote, et al in the Warner Bros. cartoons, I’m going to have my cats use various products from the Chinese Li’l Xing-fu Toy Company. Visually, it’ll be modeled on Fisher Price products, but also part of the idea is Sanrio’s Hello Kitty products, which are ubiquitous and also weirdly far-ranging beyond just kid related merchandise. The Li’l Xing-fu (which means “joyful or happy”) logo/mascot is a perpetually laughing and joyous, chubby panda cub.

12:59 pm

Well, I did the bird feeders.

Since this one-pager is now a full-blown story and an intro to my TABLE SCRAPS comic, I’ll elaborate more on that universe. Here is the breakdown of the cat characters and some ideas I have for them or want to explore with them (so far):

ARGYLE – Modeled on our one male cat, Finn (short for Phineas, natch!). Argyle is fat and his main focus is eating. He’s also not the brightest bulb. Both of these ideas are based on the real-life Finn. I’d like to expand and elevate these ideas hopefully to more comic effect. In “Segue” I also wanted all three cats to be playing with some kind of Li’L Xing-fu product, and I had the toughest time with Argyle’s fixation. I thought about him wanting to put together a puzzle but he just has no clue how to do it. He doesn’t start with the frame or the outside of the puzzle - you know, looking for and putting together straight-edged pieces first - he just keeps picking up arbitrary pieces and then can’t match them. Mostly he buys these million-piece puzzles because he likes the pictures which are primarily of this glamorous feline celebrity he has a crush on, a seductive looking Siamese cat (no name, yet). So, that’s one running gag. When Argyle isn’t thinking of food, he’s thinking of this cat.

DAISYCAKE – Modeled on Minnie (short for Minerva). Daisy’s character looks the sweetest because she’s also dressed in pretty girly dresses and has a big decorative bow in her hair, but she’s clearly psychotic, gun and weapon obsessed, and hates mice. The mice in the comic are to Daisy like the Yancy Street Gang is to the Thing in the Fantastic Four. So she owns guns of various degrees left and right and is constantly practicing with them on mouse targets. Her guns are Li’l Xing-fu brand.

SPARKLE – Modeled on Velvet, our sweet, neurotic, long-haired black cat. Sparkle’s go-to expression is wide-eyed with her tongue sticking out based on the real-life Velvet. She likes to write fan-fiction, the specifics I’ve yet to figure out. She writes on a Li’l Xing-fu plastic typewriter.

NARRATOR/MONTAGUE FLAXBUTTER – The Narrator, a rooster inspired in part by Masterpiece Theatre’s Alastair Cooke and also the Mary Tyler Moore Show’s Ted Baxter. Namely, Monty would love to be Alastair Cooke in presentation and personality, but in reality and execution he’s more Ted Baxter. Fortunately, he has Hattie as an assistant. Vain and easily flustered, Monty wears a variety of toupees. I’m thinking of having a running joke where he interrupts the narrative constantly but from various specific perspectives: as archivist of the strip, as general foot-noter, etc. But each POV is a different get-up, so he’s constantly getting into different costumes, much to his sweaty consternation.

HATTIE - A young hen who seems somewhat relegated to assisting Montague constantly behind the scenes although occasionally spilling INTO the scenes. She’s much more together and composed than him, wears glasses, a bit chubby, sexy in her togetherness but not overtly glamorous. Eventually, you realize she’s got much more going on than Montague. Further ideas: she hosts her own horror show and dresses more vampishly, but still wears glasses. In fact, I had this weird idea where she doesn’t normally wear glasses, but when she does have to appear in the strip, self-consciously puts glasses on. It’s like her getting into make-up. Also helps Montague with various other behind-the-scenes tasks linked to the narration, like researching footnotes, etc., and a running-gag of him wearing actual different hats for different narration tasks which Hattie helps put on his head as she assists in his frantic costume changes (hence, “Hattie”). Although, I think she personally likes wearing different hats, so she’s forcing her fashion tastes on Monty. But she usually wears a cap behind the scene, and then something dressier when officially appearing. I like the idea of her character already but I’ll have to be patient and introduce Hattie later. I think I have too much going on already in this “Segue” story.

Arghh, I really should get to Laszlo’s story. Dammit!

January 1, 2019 10:31 am

Happy New Year!

OMG. So, I re-read this post in the hopes of wrapping things up, since it is 2019 now, and simply continuing writing about my work-in-progress efforts in another post or posts. But, I'm realizing I have two, maybe even three, different projects that I talked about here.

"Joyride" started out as a possible one-page story, then I stretched it into a two-pager, then it became a sequel to a longer idea: to clarify, I think "Joyride" would establish the characters of Sergio and Francesca and their impulsive, spoiled, amoral nature, then they find this time-traveling motorcycle and joyride through time recklessly and irresponsibly for the hell of it. I then thought about a darker ending to this story but it seemed like I needed more pages to accommodate such an idea. So, as a possible solution for the story, I added a third character, Beatrice. So, now I'm thinking "Joyride" could actually be a self-contained 2-page story, and then I continue the concept by adding Bea to the mix. But, things become complicated between the three characters during the time-traveling journey and they wind up in a prehistoric world. There, S and F will die and Bea will be trapped alone. How fun! Actually, the idea of this modern woman starting to experience the feminist movement in the 60s/70s and now thrown into a situation where she has to rely on herself to survive sounded like an interesting idea. So, that's the third idea, and I'll call it "Stranded" for now, with Beatrice trying to live and survive in this savage world.

"Segue" also started out as an attempt to be a one-page story, supposedly simpler in concept then "Joyride" and then, of course, it blew up big time and went in a completely different absurd direction. Now (I think... we'll see how long this lasts), it's going to be my Apple Corps Comic story, about 12 pages long, and also be an introduction to my proposed webcomic/comic series called TABLE SCRAPS featuring at least three cat characters based on my own cats [NOTE: We actually have four cats at home, but I have problems trying to figure out how to use our fourth cat, Pixie, as a character in the comic. Pixie's personality just seems different enough to be problematic. She's sort of the Zeppo in this mix, though for different reasons than the actual Zeppo, at least for now.].

So, where does that leave me?
Even though I started "Segue" because I had problems trying to end the "Joyride" story, re-reading my ideas and then considering "Joyride" as a prequel to a longer story with Beatrice in it, "Joyride" now seems like it could possibly be done as a two-page story, my original goal (well, sort of).
"Segue"'s weird evolution from a stand alone short comic to now the introduction to a regular comic series wasn't my goal, but it just worked out that way.
Therefore, I'm going to try and follow through on both "Segue" and "Joyride." I'll chronicle my progress on both counts via further Drawing Board Diary (DBD) posts, with the subjects being whichever story I'm working on at the time.
Let's see if I follow through on any part of this process, shall we?

Meanwhile, I did get to Laszlo’s story and he did post his latest chapter to his Frozen fanfic. You can check out Chapter 6 here.

(to be continued)

Another Episode of New Project Roulette: news of my latest impulsive compulsion!

November 29, 2018  12:26 am

Well, for starters, I'm tired. And even though I don't go to work until 4:00 tomorrow afternoon, I can't really sleep in tomorrow morning because I have to take my car in to Walt's Garage in Kenmore when they open by 7:30. I need an inspection this month.


10:08 am

And... we're back!
Not just back to this post, but also back from Walt's Garage.
I more-or-less lucked out that I could pass the inspection without any real additional expenses, other than a much needed oil change as well. So, $60. Although, on the horizon - namely, January 2019 (i.e. after Christmas shopping) - I should look into replacing my rear tires and also getting a battery. Urg.
The usual game of Life, etc.

But, that's not what I'm here to blog about!

As I've been mentioning in my most recent blog posts (which you can see the links for on my A Rambling Wastrel, I* blog in the margin under "2018 50K Writing Challenge"), I've been checking out the various posts I've started at all three of my blogs and trying to finish some of them off in an effort to tie up loose ends and also move towards my goal of writing 50,000 words for the year. This has forced me to sort of check out the previous content of my own blogs, something I kind of took for granted.
I think my general mindset towards my three main blogs is that I never really post enough content to justify any sort of readership, with the exception - arguably, possibly, maybe - of my movie blog, Behold! the Wannabe Filmmaker/Etc., which, although, is also woefully poor in consistent updates, at least does have a handful of movie reviews, so there is some genuine content that is useful to any possible readers. And, that impression of my blogs having inconsistent postings (at best) is fairly accurate when I look at the posting histories for my blogs. I've never posted even once/month at any of the blogs, let alone all three, and even if I were to accomplish that - posting monthly - even that is the barest minimum output. Yeah, of the three blogs, over the past decade, it seemed 6-8 posts was generally my maximum number for the year, but not the norm. Apparently, I'd post less than five times, and most likely even post only once for the year. Or not at all. One blog had a stretch of a few years with zero activity. So, Time flies and seems to be getting away from me, at the very least example, in terms of producing content for my blogs. Except for one year, 2007, when I had 22 entries at A Rambling Wastrel, I*. But, checking some of my posts, I see why I was so arguably productive. At the time I was trying to both 1) lose weight and 2) write a post a day (the so-called "365 challenge"). So, I attempted posting weekly weight updates and also just tried to write daily content.
Obviously, that didn't work, except for creating 4-5x more blog posts compared to my other two blogs. Of course, that ain't saying much.

Anyway, moving on, it's interesting reading some of these past posts and seeing where my mind was at. Some of the details of my life or some of the things I was thinking/obsessing about, sometimes I've completely forgotten them. On the other hand, some of the posts are sometimes very deja vu. I'd read it and then think, "Didn't I just read the same idea or subject elsewhere on my blogs, but from eight months ago, or two years ago? Or, uh... last week?" Perhaps, instead of "deja vu" I should call this Kimmel's New Year's Resolution Syndrome. It seems every damn year, my resolutions are essentially reiterations of the previous year's resolutions. The same with my blog posts: I post so infrequently, I think I don't progress too much in my writing, so I'm always hovering around the same frame of mind when I do get around to writing, so the same ideas still wind up on the page. If that makes any sense. Actually, I know what I'm trying to say here and... it's actually incorrect. Just because I write infrequently doesn't mean when I do write I have to start all over again. But, that's what I seem to be doing. My mindset kind of stays the same. I'm not moving forward creatively, which is why my basic set of creative objectives always stay frozen in time.

*sad face*

As for forgetting things, well, I'm not really surprised, in theory. The main reason I started these blogs was to chronicle parts of my life because I tend to act (and remember) impulsively, and I remember seemingly only in short-term mode. Sure, "short-term" is subjective in terms of how long that means. I'm thinking the short-term is becoming to mean something VERY short-term. I just can't remember shit anymore.
Which is another reason for me to grab more sleep in general, in order to improve my memory and also my health. Ahhh... I'm a self-destructive schmuck.

Anyway, there are concerns or obsessions I seem to have (mostly about projects, ideas I have) that I repeat here in my blogs, but these projects never seem to come to any fruition, because eventually I lose interest, or more likely, I compulsively latch onto another obsession and the previous subject never surfaces again.

Typically for me, whenever I'm trying to work on a creative project, that usually means it's either a comic book or film. If it's a film, I'm then typically operating under a tight deadline, like, trying to come up with a short film entry for a BM-VM film contest. Or, if it's a comic book idea, then instead of a deadline, my mood is simply being just sick and tired of not having produced any drawing or writing and so I impatiently want to "whip" something out comic book-wise. Even if it's just one-page. And in this case, my own example of success in terms of producing something relatively quickly happened only once, and, like, 35 freaking years ago, when I was a graphics editor for the Buffalo State College Record, their school newspaper. On this fateful day in the early 80s, I created this elaborate comic strip in a single afternoon, from blank page and idea to finished product because I had to in order to make the day's deadline. You can see the comic at this post.
But, years later, as my artistic inertia has set in and I produce any kind of art so infrequently, the idea of my creating another finished page of comic art seems like an elusive holy grail, but somehow also achievable because, I did achieve it once with that damn first offering of Interplanetary Romances.
Dammit!

Anyway, that history of mine is a paradoxical albatross/talisman for me: my past heroic accomplishment(s) haunt me because I can't seem to live up to it/them, but they also give me hope because I have physical evidence that I CAN produce art when need be. I just need to get back into that cycle of self-discipline.

Bla bla bla...

Having said all that, here's my "latest impulsive compulsion."

So, recently, I was having my usually frustrated, impulsive bouts of trying to come up with a quick idea to draw something. It was for this year's Drawlloween/Inktober and I had a drawing idea that was inspired not only by Warren magazines and Heavy Metal magazine covers, but especially fueled by the influence of Eerie Publication covers. I think I craved the artistic excellence of Warren/HM, but was entertained by the ridiculous excess (and cynicism) of the visual overload of a traditional Eerie Pub cover, where usually three (or more) different types of monsters (traditionally a vampire, wolfman and Frankenstein's creature) somehow co-exist and intermingle, and also scantily clad and screaming female victims are subjected to some atrocity, like being hatcheted, eaten, ground to meat, etc. So, my idea was basically a sexy female "Angel of Vengeance" type from the future rescuing scantily clad women from the likes of a bulging-eyed vampire and a werewolf, while Frankenstein's creature is being decimated by the Angel's laser/flamethrower device. The elements to this composition just sounded pleasing. But, the scenario seemed like it could have some narrative legs, too. And after thinking about it, I came up with the idea of the Time Sarcophagus. So, now I also had a comic book story idea, or at least a character for such a story. (NOTE: Originally I called it the Time Coffin, which I think sounds better than Time Sarcophagus. Unfortunately, doing a little research on the internet, Time Coffin is also the name of some foreign metal band, I think... So, I didn't want to potentially confuse anybody by adding yet another time coffin to the mix and the internet, so i changed the name. However, the positive consequence of a different name is that I think the concept of a sarcophagus pushed me to imagine a much grander and ornamentally denser visual representation of this time machine. Hey! I just tried to find a link for this supposed Time Coffin metal band and I couldn't locate it! Maybe I made it up! Or something, but, hell! If there is some sort of something using the name of Time Coffin, it's apparently not as obvious to google as I thought. Meaning, I don't feel like I'm stealing the name (I came up with it on my own, anyway) NOR infringing on "their" territory, since I can't readily find "them" on the net, anyway. So, I'm back to using Time Coffin as the title! AND I'm still keeping my more elaborate ideas for decorating/designing the time machine, the heck! #OldGuyDoesLittleHappyDance).

So, this whole initial thought process came up during October. Time Sarcophagus still takes up my thoughts. And as 2018 counts down, my anxious interest in creating some new kind of comic book art before the year ends has also been increasing in intensity.

And yesterday, at work, for the first time I had a strange calm and a rare sense of self-confidence that I could pull this off, writing, drawing, then self-publishing an issue of Time Sarcophagus.
So, yay for that wave of self-confidence. To be honest, I don't know where that attitude came from, but it was distinct and enjoyable.
Having said that, I still haven't drawn anything yet.

BUT, while I was at Walt's this morning waiting for my car to be inspected, I did spend some time thinking about ideas for a time sarcophagus comic and writing them down. And, I was rather impressed with myself, so to speak. not so much that I was having great, brilliant ideas, but that I was having some constructive ideas that would be good material to work with on a variety of levels, narratively and artistically. I had a number of workable ideas to set up my basic premise for the main character and the strip. I also had some interesting ideas I could play with in terms of a story arc to further develop the main character's personal dynamics and history. I also did a little organizing of some other project ideas, although superficially so in comparison to the work I did for Time Coffin.
I have so many notebooks filled with ideas and notes for various projects, comics and film, I try to focus one notebook to a project, but I'm not organized/disciplined enough to do that. But, I'm going to keep trying.
I tore out one page of very brief notes on my Apple Corps Comic story, "Once Upon a Time in the Backyard" (and which I still have to really get going on) and put that page into another notebook which I established as my Apple Corps Comic story notebook. I also found a brief description for another comic book story concept, Interminable, and I wrote down some structural ideas for that project. So, my time spent at Walt's was very productive, I thought. Which was both a positive and joyous realization, but also a little slap in the head, because my productiveness this morning underscored why I need to develop a discipline to set aside time and WORK on my art projects on a regular basis because the advantage of working with a set amount of time to sit back and explore, etc. is undeniable. Instead, I blow my free time on watching porn lately!
Porn videos!
WTF, Kimmel! What. The. Fuck.
I confess this dark preoccupation I've been having with a lot of shame. I need to just stay away from that stuff because it becomes all-consuming and contaminating, especially of my time, not to mention my general outlook.

Well. THAT took a dark turn, didn't it? Sorry.
Anyway, I really don't have time to waste. If I'm not working on my art projects, I should then be cleaning up my work space, in order to better work on my art projects! And if I'm not cleaning up and organizing my work space, I should go to bed. OMG, this post took forever partly because I was zoning out and dozing off at times.
Grrr...
Alright, I should go, there's other shit (chores, etc.) I NEED to do before I go to work today.

(... to be continued...)

HAPPY NEW YEAR, 2018! aka I’m Still Trying to Get My Shit Together

January 25, 2018

Ugh! I hate everything!

Well, okay. Not everything…

I’m just frustrated because so many bad habits I have are so ingrained in me. And I don’t realize it sometimes until after the fact. For instance: recently I bought some batteries for our bathroom scale. They’re these disc format batteries and for the longest time we (my wife and I) have been intending to get these batteries. A couple times we’d go to Walmart to get them and they’d be out of the ones we needed. My wife finally ordered some online only to realize when they arrived that she ordered the wrong ones. They’re number CR 2032 and she got something else.

Well, in my travels, back in late 2017 (November?) when I was running around trying to film scenes for my impulsive film* featuring John Karyus (before he moved back to L.A.), I was at Walgreen’s buying a memory card for the video camera I was using (and borrowing) and, coincidentally, I saw the batteries we needed for the bathroom scale. However, I barely had enough money for buying the memory card so I couldn’t buy the bathroom scale batteries at the time as well. Finally, weeks later I made a point of buying these damn batteries.

I went to Walgreen’s. They still had them. I got them.

YAY!

I brought them home, I told my wife, and I was a conquering hero (yes, apparently there’s a lot of leeway in the definition of “conquering hero”). I put the batteries somewhere to be dealt with later. Now it’s later and I HAVE NO CLUE WHERE I PUT THOSE FREAKING BATTERIES.

ARGHHHH!!!

Typical Kimmel situation. No organized manner of putting things anywhere. I just… put them down… somewhere.

Hence, my mature Ugh-ing and Arghhh-ing here.

January 27

Still haven’t found those damn batteries (of course, I really did only a cursory search of them).

Meanwhile: Holy crap, only a few days left in January!

Time waits for no man.

January 28

I still hate everything.

But I got a couple things done today.

Well, one thing, so far. I moved the little fridge out of the far corner of the basement and moved it closer to my bed. Yes, I live in the basement of our new house. This clears space for the other three file cabinets to come from our old house (we moved in August but still have to finish moving crap out of the old house and getting it ready for sale). Also, I now have a side table (aka small fridge) for my bed! I also moved my dad’s telescope (actually my telescope when I was a kid, but I never really used it) out of the far section of the basement as well and stuck it in another corner of the basement, but a corner which I’ve cleared up a little to accommodate this damn dusty astronomical instrument and where it’s a little more conveniently situated in terms of being actually out of the way now. It’s just some re-organizing and a little bit of actual organizing some of my junk where it’s supposed to go. Although, to be honest, really not that much and there’s so much more to do. But moving this fridge was something I meant to do for at least a week and I kept putting it off. So, that’s one less thing…

I’m trying to better appreciate the fact that I have a much more convenient situation conducive to creating art than Pam does and I should embrace that advantage and run with it. Oh! Who’s Pam? Have I mentioned her before? Pam and I have been supposedly working on a comic book for well over a decade (!) with no comic book to show for it yet (!!!). We call ourselves the Apple Corps Comic Book Club. She lives at home with her parents and an older sister who has two kids and Pam has far less space available to her in order to create. So, I have no excuse to be wasting time is what I’m saying.

So, I’m trying to enjoy this luxury of having my own living space and, therefore, my own creative space.

I SHOULD BE MAKING ART.

God, I hate me.

January 30

Alright, this post is all over the place, so let me attempt to wrap things up here.

Tomorrow is one of my rare work days where I start in the afternoon and get out in the evening. So, I’m going to take advantage of not having to work tomorrow morning by watching at least one of the several movies I’ve DVRed tonight. Our DVR queue is at over 30% full and I’m continuing my (bad) habit from our old house of impulsively recording movies and never seeming to actually getting around to watching them. So, I want to try and address that.

I’m also suppose to re-read a chapter of FROZEN fan fiction that my friend Laszlo sent me in order to send him feedback. I already offered him some comments and then he addressed those comments, so now I want to re-read the chapter with that in mind.

I’m also supposed to be doing this drawing as a challenge that me and a guy from work are doing. The work dude’s name is Tim and we showed each other some drawings we did. He has some ambitions to be a tattoo artist. We decided to try and do some drawing together, so to speak. This is our first attempt. Right now, we’re alternating who suggests what to draw and Tim got the first choice. Channeling my days at the Art Institute of Pittsburgh (AIP)(and ca. 1978-1980 – cripes, I’m old!), I’m considering these challenges as “assignments” as I try to get into a mindset and routine of drawing and ultimately re-doing my art portfolio.

Everything in my portfolio is really from decades ago and for good reason: pretty much everything I created of any value to show anybody was from decades ago. Except for an unexpected epic drawing I did as a poster for a local film, MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE, by writer/director Rhonda Parker, a friend of mine. I did that at the end of last summer, finishing it in September, barely in time for the film’s premiere. But, seriously, that’s it! Everything else in my portfolio is from the 80s or 90s. It’s pathetic!

Anyway, our first drawing “assignment,” courtesy of Tim, was to create an alien landscape. Well, we talked about this almost two weeks ago, like, Monday, Jan. 22. We gave ourselves a week, so theoretically, finishing these drawings by Monday, Jan. 29.

Well, I didn’t get mine done at all. The most I did was actually draw the outline of the box on the paper to define how big my drawing was going to be. Then I lightly penciled a couple lines horizontally to supposedly indicate where my horizon line was going to be and then maybe half a dozen words scribbled in around the page (and in the box) where I thought some things and details should be. That was the extent of my “drawing.” I finally showed Tim this on Tuesday and he said, “Well, you did more than me.” He then admitted that he rather impulsively suggested this “alien landscape” subject, that it was the first thing that popped in his head. I admitted landscapes are not really my thing, that I was focusing on aliens foremost and sticking them in a supposedly alien landscape. But I do have some specific ideas. I just have to see how it translates in the execution.

February 2, Groundhog’s Day

SIX MORE WEEKS OF WINTER!?

Ah, nuts to you, ya chubby rodent! NOTE: Specifically, the chubby rodent in Pennsylvania, a groundhog named Punxutawney Phil. Apparently, there are almost half a dozen other meteorologically-minded mammals who have achieved some sort of regional celebrity status in North America who predicted an early Spring, so who knows?

Getting back to drawing.

I started off this post annoyed and with good reason: every New Year’s day I am hopeful for a new start to re-invent myself as someone with less foibles or downright character flaws and also to have made some more creative accomplishments. It usually seems a futile ambition.

But having said that…

As of this writing, I have been to work on time 13 days straight, something I’m proud of and also rather astonished I was able to pull off. And believe me, there were a handful of days that were really close calls. But still, I have a solid streak going on here.

As I mentioned above, I did do a brand new piece of artwork last summer. Considering the stressful circumstances it was created under (i.e. our move into a new house), there was no way that piece of artwork should have come into being, but it did; and on top of that, it turned out to be one of my better and detailed drawings. It isn’t perfect and it still seems somewhat unfinished to me, but only in terms of my original ambitions, so that is also a positive accomplishment by me.

So, those are two specific items I can list (and somehow have pulled off!) in terms of both creating better routines/habits and also achieving some creative goals. I just want to be more consistent at maintaining both and achieving even more in each category.

Is that so much to ask for?

Hahahaha!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(to be continued...)